Let's set the scene....it's October 3, 2003 at a little country store in my hometown! It was my Senior Homecoming night...and I was "Track Queen". After the game my friend and I were at this local convenience store getting gas when a super cute guy in a super awesome truck rolled up! My friend knew him...but I did not! Ugh! Why hasn't she ever told me about this Rocky fella?! It was LOVE AT FIRST SIGHT.....Ok, let me clarify....I fell in LOVE with his TRUCK! Ha! Literally, he rolls up in an amazing truck and told ME to honk the horn.. Weirdo! Well, maybe not! I jump in the truck, honk the horn and it was HILARIOUS...some kind of horn called an "ooga!" Anyway, it definitely caught my attention! We exchanged #'s and my phone rang that night and we talked for 4 hours! 4 hours...can you believe that! So funny! Ha! So, that marks the beginning of our love story!
I was 17 he was 18.... first it was a truck....then it was a RING!!! (ha!) He popped the question on Valentines Day of 2005! I said YES! Well, after I shoved the bread basket back at him....that's another story! Then...one of my favorite days ever....we got married! I walked down the isle on August 5, 2006 and married the funniest, sweetest, most compassionate person I've ever met! We knew we loved one another....we knew we wanted to get married....so that's what we did! I had NO idea that God would take us to where we are now! I had NO idea on that day, 7+ years ago...that I could love someone the way I love my husband now!
Our wedding day, August 5, 2006!
Fast forward a few years...I went to nursing school and we had a PLAN! I wanted to work for 6 months and then start a family! Roc was ready to have a family the moment we were married (ahhh!)!! So, I graduated in April 2009...and in September 2009 I was ready!! My entire life, my #1 goal has always been to be a Momma! This desire was so extreme that I remember stuffing pillows under my shirt when I played house with my two sisters growing up, because I was "pregnant!" Ha! I loved being the 'Mom' and bossing them around!! (haha!) Anyway, so here it came...the season in my life where I had planned to start our family! A month goes by, 3 months go by, 6 months go by....9....then before I knew it, it was 1 year of trying to have a baby with no success! I couldn't believe it! You see, I left this part out....but I am a Labor & Delivery nurse...you know...I help deliver babies every day! I KNOW how this stuff works darnit'! I thought I (again, I) could make this happen! Nope, God had other plans! It was at that one year mark that WE NEEDED GOD!! We both grew up in good Christian homes with amazing parents/grandparents....but neither one of us had ever really had a NEED for God. Sad that we needed to NEED Him before we sought Him and made Him #1 in our lives...but it literally took hitting our knees before we ever looked UP! If the CROSS was all He ever did for us, it is MORE THAN enough! (I didn't realize that, then..) We found ourselves in a church service one Sunday morning in October 2010. From that day on, we have missed few and far between! In fact, we are very involved in our churches ministry now! Go figure! :) God has turned our lives 360 degrees around! Trying to get pregnant, we experienced countless doctors appointments, tests, ultrasounds, (horrible) medications, procedures, and even surgery...guess what they told us...NOTHING IS WRONG WITH YOU!!! Our diagnosis was "unexplained infertility". I despise that word.."infertility". You will never catch me saying it....I'm surprised I just typed it twice. You know why I despise it....because I KNOW God's promises and "infertility" (ugh, I did it again!!) is not a part of them!!! Going through that season of our life was the WORST PAIN I've ever felt... It was the most HEARTACHE I've ever known. Every single month, praying and believing that it would happen THAT MONTH...only to end with 1 line on the test. You know what's funny?! It was in THAT season in my life that God began to show me that HE IS MORE THAN ENOUGH! Even if a "healing" never came...He would still be more than enough! It was in my DARKEST HOUR that I found out who God really is! I began to experience the most JOY I've ever known all while going through the most difficult thing I've ever been through. My heart hurts when I hear of anyone having difficulty getting pregnant...I know....I've been there... NO ONE can truly relate to you unless they've been there, and still yet....we all have a different story with different challenges! People can imagine what it's like....but they really CAN'T GET IT. You may be thinking..."Oh, bless her heart. They are such a sweet couple to have to go through such a horrible thing." I've heard this...I know you think it...but do you want to know how I truly feel NOW?! NOW, I can laugh without fear of the future because I know the plans that God has for my family! Instead of thinking "bless her heart", ASK ME how I feel about it!!! I will preach the best sermon you've ever heard! Ha! To the woman that is reading this and is struggling getting pregnant....I pray for you EVERY DAY. It's funny how God works...I've had the opportunity to PRAY for so many women dealing with this! I know I can pray for you in a way that someone who hasn't been in that position can! I pray that God's plans are carried out in your life and that you endure this trial with the faith you need to point others to Jesus...to be a walking-talking testimony for Christ! We can be the biggest witness when we are facing the worst stuff! People want to see if you can walk the walk and talk the talk in your darkest moments.....let me tell you, with Jesus, all things are possible to those who believe!! Don't you ever stop believing, praying, and seeking God for your miracle child! It will happen....and only God knows how it all turns out...but KNOW that His plans for YOU far exceed your plans! His promises do not return to Him void and it is His will that the fruit of your womb is BLESSED!!! He has GREAT plans for your future and your future family and His delay is NOT a denial!!! Fast forward.....
February 2012 I truly surrendered our fertility issue to God. I didn't know His plan, but I knew it was greater than mine!! God laid it on my heart to find a medical mission trip. I told my hubby and he wasn't too sure about that idea until I told him we have been invited to go to Honduras, "I am going....are you?!" After prayer and confirmation from God, he jumped on board! One month before we were expected to leave, my husband and I received a prophesy in church one evening from a man from out of town that did not know ANYTHING about us! It was a game changer. I had surrendered it all to Him, but in that moment God showed me that He had heard my every prayer and even late night cries. He is a faithful God! I was walking back down the isle after that service and God said to me PLAIN AS DAY...."it has nothing to do with needing a healing and everything to do with my plans and my timing!!" Wow...ok, Lord! I can't argue that! Totally surrendered and trusting Him we went to Honduras not knowing what our future held. Both of our lives were changed on that trip! God opened our eyes to so many things that we had never "seen" before! My husband was our team Evangelist and God used Him in a mighty way to show God's love, His healing power, and the amazing gift of salvation. We came back ruined...gloriously, completely, whole heartily RUINED for Jesus!!
When we returned home there was one thing that I couldn't shake off of my mind...I tried, trust me! That one thing was orphans. It's funny because we never truly saw an orphan in Honduras, most of the kiddos had parents with them, but God stamped that on my heart. After months and months of trying to shake this calling off...I gave in. I remember one morning telling God, "Ok Lord...if this is what you are calling us to do I need to you make this path so clear that neither one of us second guess it. I need you to open doors that only you can open and I need you to close doors that need to be closed. This has to be led and completely ordained by YOU!" Why did I say this to God? Because if He was truly calling us to ADOPT....I wanted my flesh to GET OUT OF THE WAY and let GOD BE GOD! Guess what...He did JUST THAT! After months and months of prayer, restless nights, signs everywhere I turned, scriptures about orphans slapping me in the face, etc. I told my hubby and together we began praying. He wasn't quite sure this was what God was calling us to do at this particular time in our lives...and I knew I told God that I needed the path so clear that we didn't second guess so we spent months and months seeking the Lord, fasting, and praying! Super long story short....God made that path SO CLEAR that we haven't second guessed it, He opened doors no man could open and He even closed doors that needed to be closed. He laid the country of Ethiopia on my heart EVERY SINGLE TIME I prayed about adoption. Why Ethiopia?! Because God said so, that's why! We have a child there and He knew that LONG BEFORE we did...so that's why we are adopting from Ethiopia!!! We are simply following God's lead! Besides, I love coffee and that's where coffee originated (ha, only kidding!!) I do love coffee though..... ;)
In March we made our final decision to adopt after finding an agency that we fell in love with! So thankful for divine connections that led us to our agency, CCI. It was THIS agency that God gave us His supernatural peace about! We applied, got accepted, did home studies, completed enough paperwork to DESTROY A FORREST, ....etc.! We sent our dossier (a BOOK of documents) off in June and found out that everything was cleared through the Embassy and we earned ourselves a spot on that waiting list on July 2nd at #19! Praise God! On July 14th we headed back to Honduras for the second year in a row and God showed up in a MIGHTY MIGHTY WAY!! (Click here to read my mission blog!) We returned home and now here we are, it's September the 3rd! We found out over a week ago that we are now #13 on the waiting list and they said expect to move up even more over the next month! We are CRAZY EXCITED, SUPER BLESSED, and totally at PEACE with what God is doing in our lives!! So thankful that He never gave up on us! He knew 4 years ago when we started trying to conceive that IF WE HAD, we wouldn't have surrendered our lives or marriage to Him, we wouldn't have gone on mission trips, and we would have completely missed His calling on our lives, including our calling to adopt! I can testify that God is always working everything out for the GOOD of those who LOVE HIM and have been CALLED according to HIS PURPOSE!!! (Romans 8:28) If we had gotten our little family 4 years ago.....that would have been 1 more orphan in this world that never received a forever family. Thank goodness that God kept His hand on us!! Thank goodness that when I wanted to give up and just walk away from it all, God kept me on track. I can't imagine my life any other way and I am so thankful for the struggles, trials, tears, and heartache that has brought us to where we are....we are filled with amazing love, joy, peace, strength, and supernatural faith beyond comprehension!!! We are OVER COMERS by the blood of JESUS & the word of our testimony!!!
There you have it....the last 7 years of our life in a nutshell! Not everyone knows our whole story (until now, ha!), because we are very private couple. Placing this out there for the world to see would typically be totally out of my comfort zone...BUT, I have total PEACE because I know God has called me to share it and WHY in the world would I be ashamed about the goodness of God!
I know you're thinking it so let me go ahead and answer it......Are we adopting because we "can't" get pregnant? NO! I'm telling you....we couldn't get pregnant because we needed to ADOPT first! If you want to see how faithful God is, follow my story and you will see how it all plays out! I am totally confident in His promises to me!! We have a BEAUTIFUL life and we have been so BLESSED...we give God all the GLORY!!
Know God's promises for YOUR life and YOUR situations!!! Speak them over yourself and the situation EVERY SINGLE DAY!!! Believe what you SPEAK and watch those promises come to pass in God's perfect timing!!! Word are so powerful, use them wisely!!! Be blessed friends!!! More to come soon on the adoption front.... I pray you are blessed by the AusbrooksStoryforGodsGlory!!!
Special delivery from Ethiopia due to arrive in God's perfect time!
"Taste and see that the LORD is good! How blessed is the person who trusts in him!"- Psalm 34:8
